simply insane

Listen

2012-02-08T01:46:00.000+05:00

Listen!
Listen. Stop talking.
Stop talking, stop thinking and listen.
There is something going on. There has been something going on.

Listen.
Listen to the sounds that is being made. To the songs that is being sung. There is something going on.
Listen to the voices. To the cries and the weeps. The yells and the shouts. Listen to the laughter.

Silence. Listen to the silence. Listen to everything.

For we have been talking long enough. We have been walking long enough. Why haven't we realized that there is something to be heard? Something worthy of being heard?

We would have heard.

Listen.
Listen to the nature. The sounds it makes, the silence it breaks.
Listen to yourself. The words you say. The song you sing.
Listen to the story being told. By us; everyone. By everything.

Listen even if you think there is nothing to be heard.

Listen!

Edge

2012-02-01T03:04:00.002+05:00

I stand at the edge of Heaven. Staring upon endless emptiness. Behind me, vast pastures of green. High mountains and endless rivers flowing. Behind me a forest of huge trees and wondrous animals. Behind me a desert of sandy gold, and an oasis full of wonders.

Behind me castles and palaces. Vast and magnificent.

Behind me, the whole of Heaven.

I stare into the vast empty space before me.

A lover without a beloved

2012-01-23T01:50:00.000+05:00

Uncomfortable in your own skin
Uneasy with the world around
Thinking you are your own sin
Thinking you are just a clown

You are like a king without a kingdom
A lover without a beloved
To death you succumb
For you feel unloved

You think you live
Because you got no choice
You think you can't forgive
Beacuse no one will hear your voice

You are like words without meaning
A voice without an ear
You have got this feeling
That no one can really hear

What you feel for yourself
Is nothing but disdain
And to hear it for yourself
You repeat the same words again

Dysthymia

2012-01-02T00:23:00.000+05:00

O Weltschmerz
Why sit by the window I ask
if you don't like the world you see outside
why cry your tears and weep
when no one hears you wail
You know that you need to know
what is and what will never be
Painted in all shades of blue
you hang down so low
hidden behind a paper mask
and painted smiles
Tired to the bones
tried to the deepest bones
Why roam around
somewhere you don't trust yourself
why hang around
when there is nothing to focus on
You got no words to hang on to
no hands to hold on to
there is no way you can let go
just sit around
move through the motions
with your blunted affects
and your harsh heart
For you are invisible to a reflected world
no ones looking for you
all they see is a face
and that is enough for them
all they need is a place
to push you and your leaden body into

Through Tainted Glass

2011-12-04T00:56:00.001+05:00

Through tainted glass
She looks at a lonely world
through complex eyes
She sees what is not real

Hear those words, have not been said
tear those clothes, have not been worn
fear those roads, have not been walked
but don't She know that She is wrong

There's a thud on the door
just as the doorbell rings
a man is standing there
sitting down and looking up

The man speaks in silent words
and says nothing whilst being heard
And as She listen to the weary music
She loses Her mind and loosen Her thoughts

a boy walks through the kitchen door
slithly limping, crawling on his knees
His hands in His pockets, clutching His wrists
"Mama, I have cut myself!"

All is a dusty mist
All is a clear fog
nothing is an illusion
everything is just not real

You're at the crossroads of time
She says to me
with only one way to go
on the road to the gallows

We are all going to die
He says to me
While living forever
buried six feet high

And a bearded man hang Himself
and loses His way home
He wanders through Her house
looking for everything not there

She hears a crow's meow at dawn
while the rain shine through the sun
and the clock striking midnight
while the trees blows through the wind

The boy still stands there
laying on the gold gray grass
with bloody hands clutching Himself
"Mama, I have lost myself!"

All is a clear mist
All is a dusty fog
everything is an illusion
nothing is never not real

You've lost yourself this time
She says to me
with nobody looking for me
on the road back home

We are all going to live
He says to me
while killing each other
flying six feet deep

No Fault of Your Own

2011-11-23T16:44:00.001+05:00

Yeaterday spent on tomorrow
always feeling so low
if you don't know which way to go
follow the winds that blow

or crawl back to whence you came
out here, there's no fame
just a broken down piano
and a slowly singing soprano

What's that you're searching for?
something you never saw?
go far away from here
until you're truly clear

born, through no fault of your own
just thrown into the perfect storm
swim through until you drown
until you're truly down

there's no one you can really tame
without disappointment and shame
so never let your feelings show
and on your way out close the door

this is where we leave you
you do what you have to do
there's no end ever to be seen
what's left is what you have been

You

2011-10-17T02:13:00.000+05:00

You are nothing
Meaningless being
You are a ever changing bundle of experience
No such thing as resilience
The manifestation of raw emotions
For all intentions and purposes, an illusion
You are the words you said, or didn't
The things you did, or didn't
You are the thoughts you thought
Not the money you bought

You are a sunbeam at sunrise
A bird singing lullabies
You are the words on the wall
A tree lonely at fall

You are me
Longing to be
I am you
Wanting to do
Upon each other we fold
We are the world
The Earth beneath us
The stars beyond us
We are the universe
You are the universe

Stranger

2011-07-25T00:41:00.000+05:00

Everybody seems strange
When you ain't quite at home
Everything seems to change
When you're lost out all alone

Nothing is what it seems
While you are away from home
Nothing is real, just all dreams
While away, lost all alone

When are you coming back home
When are you leaving this world
There's a call for you on the phone
And all it's saying is the same words
Won't you come back home

Anything is everything if nothing
Where you don't feel like home
Anyplace will be lost to the fringe
Where you're out all alone

When are you going back home
When are you leaving this place
There's a call for you on the phone
And all you see is the same face
Won't you please go back home

Misplaced

2011-07-23T00:43:00.000+05:00

Misplaced in Time

Lost in this void

He swim across the cosmos

Displeased by the crime

Committed against him

Contemplating all his loss

He don't belong here

Lost in Time

Don't you hear

This is your crime

Displaced in Space

On his own

He float across the Verse

Misled by this place

Confused by all this

Lodged in this intersperse

He don't belong here

In this space

Don't you hear

From your high place

Don't earn a dime

Them he avoid

Crescent, Star and Cross

Or anything of prime

While sitting at the brim

Under the sharp claws

He don't belong here

Oh Thy sublime

Don't you hear

This is your crime

Regarded disgrace

To the bone

And all things' worse

Outside the race

Denied of all the bliss

Because of his curse

He don't belong here

Oh mighty grace

Don't you hear

From your high place

Them

2011-06-01T18:39:00.004+05:00

Listening to the world go by; people die people cry
Red eyed Mad eyed Wide eyed Sheep like
I see their twitching fingers upon sighing lips
concealing, displeasing, disturbing
They drive, they run, they walk
they crawl looking for the ultimate fix
Full of wine, full of whine
They stroll down the streets of vanity
where the undead roam
and the blood of the suicides
and the sweat of the whores
and the spit of the politicians
flow like the breath of the Unholy
War drums beat and beat and beat
beat to the beating hearts
beat to the bleeding hearts;
Bleed to the last drop
I hear the horrible cries across the sleeping city
calling to save them
From drugs and despair and tragic love
From soulless and homeless men
From unminding unthinking war-fighting
killing murdering soul-ripping monsters
I hear their blindfolded fears
Raging wars within their disquieted minds
hear their heinous crimes
laughing and weeping in climactic pleasure
longing for death after life
Screams of ecstasy, overheard above the rips of the skins
Billions of starry eyes upon a tearless cry
I feel their apathy underneath layers of cold metal
underneath oil and stone, and money and funny paper
under concrete and steel, and cement and rubber
under plastic and fabric, and sheets of clothes
Where they hide, under blankets and pillows
Where they lie, upon rose beds and under oath
I feel them raving and ranting and roaring
singing love songs and lullabies
while dancing to electrical appliances
and dancing to oil driven machines
Writing love letters to shadows
crying upon moving pictures
I smell their blindfolded fears
burning fires fueled with cold ice
smell their oil driven hearts and
machines riding the streets and
their dirty laundry upon endless puppet strings
and their ink on meaningless paper and
spray paint on the building walls
I smell their cigarettes and coffees and colognes
smell their blood upon their own hands
I see their closet doors creaking
deeps eyes gazing through
Bricks and stones and pebbles and words
thrown around the room till midnight
see them sleeping through nightmares
and dreaming through reality
I see them shouting behind closed doors and drawn curtains
see them conforming, comforting, condoning, conceding
and see them destroying, disposing, distorting, denying
all that is true

Not So Great

2011-03-14T02:42:00.003+05:00

My atrocious poetry

with your monstrous writings

We are quite artsy

Don't care what the world thinks

I am no good at rhyming

You can't properly narrate

But we won't go hiding

or join the big masquerade

You and me we are the same

and we both plagiarize

We don't want the fame

We just wanna live a life

Go sailing

2011-02-13T01:30:00.004+05:00

Lets go steal a boat
just you and me

and go sailing

we've got a world to see

We haven't been to the Caribbean

to Sydney or to Rome

so lets go to lands far away

leave our shells and roam

Lets sail the Norwegian Sea

and row through River Nile

fly a hot air balloon

or just walk a few miles

Have you seen The Forbidden City

Taj Mahal, or the Grand Canyon?

so lets go travel the world

with me, as my companion

We'll put on different clothes

we'll put a smile on our face

and we'll go meet new people

we'll explore a whole new place

Lets go steal a boat

cold blue

2010-11-16T16:30:00.002+05:00

The streets were empty. The full moon lit the sky in an eerie way. The streets were lit by the street lamps. It was a cold night. The breeze brings the salty smell of the sea. The sounds of the waves washing up on the sands of the beach filled the silence. Everything was asleep, every door locked.

The breeze blows inland from the sea. Cold. As it brushes across my face, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand. The leaves on the trees rustle as the breeze blow past them. The breeze that came from the sea departs as it leaves everything on its path awake. Waking them to the night’s serenade. A song by the waves and the trees; the little insects hiding in the cracks. My own footsteps. I listen to them. A symphony.

I was out long past midnight. Walking the empty streets. I walked them with no destination in mind. I had no place to go, no place to be. I walked them on my own. Alone.

Footsteps. I rarely run into anyone at this hour. The footsteps grew closer approaching me from around the corner. And quite suddenly I was face to face with another man.

The man was wearing all black. His hair long and unkempt.

He looked straight into my eyes. I couldn’t help staring into his. His cold blue eyes.

He was a handsome man. Possibly in his late twenties. His face was pale and his eyes looked tired. His cold blue eyes.

There was something about them. Empty and deep. They seems to penetrate into my skin. Straight into my soul.

I started to feel colder. He kept looking into my eyes. And I into his. His cold blue eyes.

He showed no emotion. Except maybe calmness. As if there was not a worry in the world.

The cold breeze blew again. Yet neither of us moved.

I couldn’t help but ask.

‘Who are you?’

‘Death!’

He stood there for a few more seconds and then walked away.

Epitaph

2010-08-31T18:53:00.001+05:00

Cometh my dear
join me in death
there shan't be fear
for I, thou shalt haveth

by the road

2010-04-09T02:05:00.004+05:00

the morning has broke
with the sun waking
while I stood there
by the road standing

a man walks down
with a limp in his left foot
he walks through town
limping all the way

the traffic has broke
with the cars wheeling
while I stood there
by the road standing

a woman rushes by
with a worry on her face
like she was about to cry
while she rushed past me

the day has begun
with all Men waking
while I was there
by the road sitting

a child run past me
with a dog behind him
happy as happy can be
they run all around town

the noon has arrived
with the torrid sun shining
while I was there
by the road sitting

a couple walks through
hand in hand
their love looking true
they walk all the way

the evening has come
with a wind blowing
I am still there
by the road lying

a girl trots past me
with a smile upon her face
and I could see
that she was lying

the night has arrived
with a storm brewing
and so I leave
the road I was lying

Breaking Reality

2010-02-10T19:36:00.001+05:00

They say that I have gone crazy
Hook me up to a machine and see
Look really nicely and closely
And they think I am empty

But I am gonna break this reality
Spread my wings and break free
Life belongs to me, I myself and me
All they can do is wait and see

I need to feel real liberty
Go to a place unworldly
Break all free and flee
Cos this is not my cup of tea

Had enough of this cruelty
I have heard their story
It's a lie told by them overly
That's just the way they will be

So let's break this reality
And sense some true liberty
Kick in the ass of cruelty
And live along happily

The Tree

2009-11-08T01:09:00.004+05:00

A tree standing alone in a field
I know, its a story that's been told before
For a thousand people has seen this tree
Told its story a hundred times more

Alone it stood with glory and pride
Bathing in the sun, breathing in the wind
Yes alone it stood, no reason to hide
Shading the travelers stopping by to rest

I went on a very long walk one day
Saw the tree and stopped by to unwind
Sat on the grass beneath the shading leaves
For I was tired and wanted to rest my mind

The field looking out to a far away train station
Out in the open, by the tree I sat
Longing to reach my very own destination
But too tired, I laid down on the grass

Drifted into a dream world I did
But not alone, for the tree came with me
With music that came from the dark side of the moon
To a place where everyone long to be

The tree danced all around bewildered I
The branches, the trunk, the roots; the whole tree
Lots of little and lovely butterflies flying high
A dream so vivid I could remember today

And through the dance the tree started to change
The branches faded into lovely flowing hair
The trunk into a body so difficult to describe
My eyes stared at the face that was oh so fair

A strange beauty stood before my eyes
Forced me to start to think for myself
Could this be really some kind of lies
For isn't this just a dream I am dreaming

And then I heard the bells ringing
Wondered if they were up on the hill
Till I saw the birds in the sky winging
I haven't seen them till there was her

Quite suddenly she stopped dancing
Walked up to me in a walk to remember
She took my hand and held it tight
And all I ever wanted to do was hold her

And if she's beside me, I know I need never care
For all the world was long gone
Me and her, the only thing that was ever there
Both knew that this is our home

Sing a song

2009-10-28T00:37:00.003+05:00

Wont you sing us a song
of a thousand words
so we could sing along
all the nonsense verse

sing us a song
of rhythm and rhyme
sing us a song
doo-da doo-dime

wont you sing us a song
play your groovy guitar
cant you sing us a song
of verses so bizarre

sing us a song
a one to dance to
sing us a song
you who you whoo

sing a song so long
for 'em and me and you
you cant go wrong
we'll sing along too

sing, we'll sing a song
dance to the melody
sing, we'll all sing a song
Li da did-dy

Home!

2009-09-15T05:26:00.004+05:00

The universe is not perfect. It's a violent place out there. Unimaginable terrors lurk in inexplicable corners. And this piece of rock is just a safe haven for only a little while. Until the yellow sun becomes a red giant. Scorching the surface or maybe even this whole terrain. Or swallow the whole rock. Are we to survive to witness such an astronomical event?

Asteroids have impacted Earth. Comets are flying by. Some too close for comfort. Get a little bit closer and it could mean a mass extinction.

And us? We are just sitting on a little bit of cosmic waste. This is just a third rock from a star in the outer edge of a small galaxy. And there are billions of galaxies out there with trillions of stars. Yet it is still mostly an empty universe. Are we alone? Is everything else just waste?

This is our home. Born of chaos in the cosmos. Our time here hasn't been that long. Yet we have manage to bring drastic changes to every aspect of life here. We are the late arrivers and yet we have claimed this earth ours. We have scarred this terrain in many ways. We share this haven with a billion more other species. We depend on them. And yet we have disrupted this very delicate system. Faster than anyone or anything could adapt. We are pushing as far as we could. Until all odds turn against us. Why do we wait till the last second to act? Our nature? If it is, can't we change it? After all it is 'our' nature.

I stand here and look at the state of the world. All the little good left lost in all the haze and confusion. Life becoming faster and faster. A few ever stop to wonder. And most would go on thinking there is nothing they can do. Doing nothing rarely solves anything. Do they not see a problem to solve? Do they not see a world worthy to save?

After all there is no place like home.

The wind and me

2009-09-14T23:50:00.003+05:00

I talked to the wind one day
I asked her to take me away
and she came by the other day
round and 'round we went, all the way

She took me on a journey
and showed me all there is to see
saw all the beauty and the misery
and all she said was 'let it be'

So I flew with her all the way
we went everywhere we may
saw all seasons in one day
I did not knew what to say

She whispered to me a story
of times better than the ones seen by me
of times never heard by thee
the clouds dropped a tear, and it rained slowly

All the world stood by that day
I heard them look up and say
why do the sky cry all day
but they cannot see how the world is today

We flew through flawlessly
letting go of all things worldly
she taught me to be care free
and in all this world there was her and me

Vendetta

2009-09-04T19:07:00.011+05:00

I'm a thorn in your back
A sore pain in your neck
And you can't fight back
I'm going to break your neck

I'll make you quake with fear
All you can do is drop a tear
Unto you I'll turn your fear
Because all I do is rip and tear

I'm society's well made mess
What was asked, nothing less
An incarnation of your own mess
I'll deliver what is deserved, no less

I'll make you clean up all this
I'll tell you what all this is
Beneath the rumble and all this
Buried and unknown, the truth is

Him

2009-08-03T12:51:00.005+05:00

He looks at what I see, he listens to what I hear. He speaks what I say. And he is me.

He knows what I know, he wants what I want. He feels what I feel. And he makes me me.

He creeps through my skin, he feeds on my blood. He breaths my breath. And he lives through me.

He laughs at my deeds, he cries at my sins. He wails at my thoughts. And he acts through me.

He mourns for my dreams, he frowns at my hopes. He smiles at my misery. And he hides in me.

He sees through my eyes, he hears through my ears. He speaks through my tongue. And he sleeps in me.

I tell his story, I sing his song. I live his life. And I am him.

Beer cloud

2009-07-22T00:05:00.003+05:00

I look up to the sky
Oh! How I wish I could fly
Through the endless stew
Towards you, only you

Magnetars and pulsars
And frigging quasars
Magnetic and gravitational field
But I shall never yield

To bath in your core
I know I will want more
It is you I crave
If only all was as brave

Call with your haunting voice
And you leave me no choice
For nothing will stop me
With solar flares I'll set sail free

All those black holes
With their dark black souls
And the darkest of their con
But I will surely go on

To swim through you
It is all I want to do
It is you who I want
For it is my dreams you haunt

Gamma blasts and radioactive rays
Unlike any other I may face
Cosmic wonders and nebulae
Of all colors blue and blae

Clusters of stars so luminous
Brighter than Sirius
Distract me from my quest
It is the universe' own jest

To drown in your bliss
Hoping I could give you a kiss
It is you whom I wish
My pursuit I wish to accomplish

Oh beer cloud in space
You are in my every place
In this massive cosmic maze
You are killing me in many ways

The Pain

2009-07-08T00:16:00.002+05:00

I sat in the car. My Heart thumping fast. Pumping as much blood as it could. For I was consuming a lot of oxygen. Every single cell in my body was respiring abnormally fast. As I was exhausting all the energy in me.
I feel the vein in the left side of my face. I could feel the blood rush through it, as fast as it could. Left side of my face was throbbing. There was a ringing in my ear.
I put my hand on the dashboard and push it as hard as I could. The driver keeps stealing glances. It was understandable; after all I was acting a little bit weird.
I look at the pedestrians outside. Some smiling. Some looked stolid. Some hurrying by. Oblivious to there surrounding. They walk as if nothing was wrong.
How wrong could they have been? Yes; there was something wrong.
My left ear was aching.

Life\Web

2009-06-28T01:35:00.006+05:00

Life is like a web. A spider web; if you may. There is no 'my life, your life'. There is life and there is us. We are all connected. Through this web. And we go on clinging to the silky threads. We feel the vibrations of others' movement, while they crawl their own path. But we won't always take the path we want. We get sidetracked, we get lost. Yet we thrive and we move on. Towards the end. The goal, the dream, the ambition. Or we just move without any of these. But we may never get there. For some of us get stuck. Get trapped to the sticky glue. Someone else may rescue them. Or not. Some are left to struggle. Some escape, some don't. Those who don't get eaten by the spider. They become prey to the deathly predator patrolling the web. And that is life. It is but a spider web. Nothing more, nothing less.

Something, Somewhere

2009-06-01T08:34:00.003+05:00

Something somewhere is calling for me
I feel it like my own breath
It might be a way for me to be free
So I ask, could it be Death?

With it's voice so cold
It makes me quake with fear
And it ask me to hold
Everyone who's dear

With it's words so wise
It makes me terribly calm
And it tells me no lies
And dos me no harm

Something is calling for me
I know it to be true
I'm scared as I can be
And I ask, who are you?

With it's dreams so real
It shows me something new
Something so ideal
No one ever knew

With it's hopes for me
It shows me a new view
And it's easy to see
It was seen by few

Somewhere it's waiting for me
Waiting as time flow
It is, nothing but a plea
But I ask, Should I go?

Random thoughts, and some other stuff.

2009-05-31T01:24:00.006+05:00

I sit here and wait for some words to come my way and fill this void.

Anyways I am waiting for my exams to be over. I have nothing against exams ( but I think they are overly overrated ). Just curious what's going to happen next. I have my plans and all that, but I know for a fact they will change. Some of them anyway.
I think I over think stuff!!
My sleep pattern is all over the place nowadays. Like right now, I should be sleeping. Or studying.
There's some silly song on the radio, something about some soniya or some shit.
3 minutes passed since I started this post.
Random thoughts makes no sense. They are all disconnected and over the place.
Trust nothing. Doubt everything.
Now, I feel disconnected.
I sometimes wish I was ignorant. Blissfully ignorant.

Find me a place
And a whole new face
I wanna start over
A new story
Find me a name
And give me no fame
I wanna start over
A silent story

Its amazing what you can see when you close your eyes.
Remember the butterflies!

wherever you go i am with you
You take me away you are all alone
I am the answer to all your questions
You take me away you are clueless
I am the solution for all your problems
You take me away you are in trouble
I am with you wherever you go
Without me you will be all alone

I miss my micro-blogging phase.

Here is a random link for you.

I should sleep.

-If you want to live your life to the fullest, be ready to make some mistakes.-

Revelation

2009-05-25T02:31:00.000+05:00

It was woven together so lightly
We could have seen it even slightly
That they fooled themselves
And kept it all on the shelves

We just kept a smile on our faces
When they all ran their races
But they never moved beneath
And they lied through their teeth

And when we thought it all ended
Thought it was all mended
And thought we could go on with our lives
They started to pay us with tens and fives

Then they gave us the constitution
And formed an institution
Told us it’s part of evolution
They said it’s all just a revolution

And we bought their well made lies
Some worshiped them like they are from the skies
We never thought we were being deceived
That they were traitors who conceived

We lived by their choices
Never raised our voices
We heaved to their words
Like they ruled our worlds

While they fought each other
And we thought they were all together
Because that’s what was shown
But we could have known

Told us to live by their decision
Told us it was the only solution
They sold this beloved nation
We were in for a revelation

And we believed it was right
Because they gave some of us a fright
So we put them up above our height
I believe it’s time to fight

That Rainy Night

2009-05-03T15:02:00.005+05:00

The sky started to turn to shades of gray early in the evening. The sun disappeared into the clouds.
To some it was gloomy, but I always loved the sudden changes of weather.
The raining started. The sounds it made put me at ease. Drumming each surface it could touch. It was a melodious music to my ears.
The raindrops was falling from the sky. As if there is a bond between them. One falls and others follow. They travel together in the same direction.
Maybe I am a raindrop too.
The thunder startled me. I never liked it. But for some reason thunderstorms help me sleep at night. And right now i want to sleep.

Someone's at the door. Who could be at the door at this time? Especially during a thunderstorm?
I opened the door. At the doorway stood someone I have never seen. Or so I think. For a few seconds nothing happened.
Suddenly there was a swift movement. I felt a sharp pain in my right side. My whole body started throbbing. I felt drained of everything.
He took the knife out, to stab me again. I didn't resist much. My knees grew weak and I fell.
The man took it with him when he left.
Left me alone to die.

Realizations

2009-04-08T17:10:00.005+05:00

I was just sitting there. Doing nothing. Didn't had much to do. Just sitting there thinking about stuff. Nothing in particular. I just like letting my mind wonder.
Then I realized my own breath. I heard it. My breathing was normal and I could hear it. I could feel the air rushing in and my chest expanding. I could feel my own blood being fed. The air coming out and myself becoming relaxed. And then the whole thing would start again.
I felt my heart beating against me. In prefect sync with my breaths. Blood flowing in and flowing out. Just a piece of tissue; keeping me alive. Feeding my own blood to my own body.
In this state of bliss I looked up. In the heavens high above stars shine bright. And I knew I would rather be somewhere else. Somewhere other than here. I knew I wasn't the only one. Others were hoping too. Looking up to the skies.
It made me feel connected. Connected to things I don't even know of. Connected to everything. And all that made me feel small. Insignificant. It made me realize how selfish we are. How immoral we can be. It made me realize how vulnerable I truly am.
And then I knew. I knew I was part of something. A sense of belonging took hold of me. Not to this house I call home. Not to these people I call family. I knew I belonged somewhere. To my true home. This rocky planet. To my true family. To Humankind.
And I knew my life would never be the same again.

The Parking Zone

2009-03-18T22:30:00.002+05:00

Search For Lost Thoughts

2009-03-07T15:06:00.000+05:00

I try to remember my own thoughts. The ones I had forgotten. It’s not like remembering my own actions. I want to remember those exact thoughts. I remember most of the things that happened, but the thoughts they evoked. No. Not those random thoughts.

I just can’t understand why! They were mine. Belonged to me and no one else could have taken them from me. But they simply vanished. No traces. Not even shadows lingering around. Only memories that don’t make sense.

Then I realize these thoughts won’t last any longer either. They probably would go away as their predecessors. Leaving no traces behind. And there is nothing I could do about it. I truly am utterly helpless. Hopeless.

But I will remember one thing. I will remember I had them. Before they vanish they were mine. I will remember that I had something exclusive to me. To me only that I didn’t need to share with anyone.

And yet I wonder. I wonder and ponder. Why can’t I remember them? Is it that I have a bad memory? But I think it’s fine. And I think there is nothing wrong with me. But I guess everyone thinks that. That there is nothing wrong with them.

But isn’t there? Isn’t there something wrong with everyone? I think there is. If not then why is this place so messed up?

But our imperfections make us somewhat perfect. They tend to bring us together. We search for what is missing in ourselves. Hoping to find whatever it is in others. Making us compatible with each other.

Labyrinth Of My Mind

2009-03-02T09:39:00.004+05:00

Of walls built with thoughts. Decorated with dreams.

We walk alone in the vastness of my cardboard box. Me by your side. You following me. Fear of being lost is in your heart. I can feel it. After all you are in my mind. Taking this tour.

A voice in the background. Speaking words of wisdom.

The Voice in my head.

We walk on a tiring journey through an oasis of a disquieted mind. The sky high above. But no light comes from it. No stars nor clouds are to be seen. Our path is only lit by a shimmering light. The source is you. It is hard to understand. Ironic even. You lighting my path in my own mind.
But I know my way around. I have been here all my life. My mere mind.

'What's that?' you ask me.

What would I say? I don't know what to say. I could lie, but I rather not.

'It's his dark secret. Something he doesn't share with anyone. Something even mysterious to him. The Thing that is, in some ways controlling his life. His actions. He isn't sure what it is. Neither am I.' The Voice take over my incompetence. The Voice always had my back.

You turn to me. A confused look on your face. You want me to say something. But I have nothing to say.

'Who is that?'

I don't know what you are talking about.

'The Voice.'

'It's the Voice. It's what keeps me company. What helps me in different ways. I don't know what it is except for the fact that it is a voice.'

We start to walk again. Not knowing where we are headed we walk anyway.
Silence. Deafening silence. Yes. It's too much for someone to take. Restraining myself isn't easy in my own mind.

Your eyes dart around. Mesmerized by my mere mind. Marveled at my mysterious mind. My mere mysterious mind. I feel your thoughts rushing past me. Like the cold breeze rushing through the hairs of your hand in a moonless cold night. Hairs reacting to the coldness and erecting to its guard. Yes, I feel your thoughts.

You stop. Faraway you see two persons fighting. Inside a circle of men who were sitting down. I smile.
They never cease to amaze me. In their neverending battles for my beliefs. The conflicts of my inner mind. They fight in curious ways. Usually two at a time. A third joining now and then. The tired sits down. Defeated leave the dispute. It is a war I like watching. I don't take sides, but I watch. Mocking them yet enjoying their differences and disagreements. They fight to the end. Everyman for himself.

Speck of light

2009-02-20T08:29:00.004+05:00

I am just a star in your sky
Watching over you as you cry
To all your words I will reply
For all your commands I will comply

A lonely little speck of light
Unnoticed in the blackness of night
Insignificant against the moon so bright
Rarely caught in a telescopic sight

Sorted into a constellation
Of stars floating in an ocean
A trivial god of a far off civilization
Just longing for some recognition

Waiting shyly so far away
Wishing you were mine everyday
Drifting so slowly in the Milky way
Hoping you will meet me halfway

Flying to a far away black hole
With all my love and my soul
Crying for you to take control
Converge with my core and make me whole

leave me alone

2009-02-19T21:55:00.000+05:00

let us be

02

2009-02-12T19:16:00.004+05:00

Those eyes. Beautiful. Amazing. Wonderful. Intriguing.
They Reminded him of his love. They painted pictures of the future in his head. They brought memories of a nearly forgotten past. They triggered a whole new set of dreams.
She smiled. His heart skipped a beat. She looked at him right in the eye. His whole body froze.
He felt that he couldn't do anything. Perfectly and utterly helpless. As if all he could do would mean nothing.
But he was sure he would do everything he could. Because right now the little girl in his hand meant everything.

01

2009-02-07T22:06:00.002+05:00

Patiently he waited. Pacing to and fro. A little smile on his face. Signs of worry in his movements. A sense of pride taking hold of him in an untimely manner.
He was afraid and happy. Concerned and proud.
Every sound was inaudible. Every movement was inconsistent. Except of the children around him. They made him nervous.
They made him feel something he had never felt before.

At The End Of The Day

2009-02-04T16:22:00.003+05:00

At the end of the day it's just me
And the cruelty of my life
With reality slapping my face yelling weeee!
Heaving me into all this strife

Whispers of fantasy echoing through my head
While all that's left is whipped away
Showing me sad shades of red
Leaving me to struggle just one more day

At the end of the day it's just me
And the brutality of this world
Robbing me away of all that is free
Leaving me with nothing but words

Like a juggling joker juggling in my mind
I am playing with my own words
Going through a heap to find
Nothing but the right words

At the end of the day it's just me
And the recurrence of routines
It's like living in a sea
With nothing but machines

the road

2009-02-01T23:09:00.005+05:00

You are driving alone on a lonely road. It's dark. The headlights staring at the empty road has an eerie affect. But you can't see ahead. Just a few meters. Then, darkness.
You don't no where you are headed. Or where you are coming from.
Suddenly you see someone on the road. Right in front. You react in a split second. Slamming the brake as hard as you can. You almost skid off the road. Your heart is beating irregularly fast. You are panting.
Whoever it was, he is gone. Nowhere in sight. Did you really see someone? Or was it just imagination.
You are still breathing fast. Heart still beating irregularly. And you couldn't think. Get yourself to move on. You are inevitably stuck. You don't know why. You just don't know. There is no sense in going back and you can't move forward.

time

2009-01-07T00:30:00.002+05:00

pulses in pace
repetition of routines
movements in metre
recurrence of rhythms
cadence in counts
patterns of periodicity
encores in echos

the late warrior

2009-01-06T00:49:00.005+05:00

through the blackness of the dark night
on his black horse rode a knight
a simple man; a warrior of light
a sword and a heart oh so might

he rode through mountains and hills
with the sword sharpened and ready to kill
a desire he wanted to fulfill
while he rode the wind was still

his heart so full of rage
he had felt like in a cage
it all turn out to hate
and a feeling of being late

he rode to the battle field
where some fought and was killed
with swords that was self yield
and he saw the field was filled

death filled him with fear
there was no sounds to hear
the silence was so near
fighting himself not to shed a tear

Brainwashed

2008-11-07T10:38:00.002+05:00

Fabricated with lies they told us a story
Excused without reason, justified without explanation
Brainwashed we stood - never thought it was a lie
And we listened eagerly - never read between the lines

Then they triumph over their victory
Fireworks, joy, excitement and celebration
But we only saw through our eyes
Never Asked, never questioned, never thought with our minds

Beautiful

2008-10-21T17:56:00.005+05:00

Beautiful is what I see
But not through my eyes
Something seen only by me
Pure and safe from lies

Beautiful is what I feel
Deep within my mind
Shoved in and in a seal
Deep within hard to find

Beautiful was everything
Until I was awaken
Beautiful I still think
Until it was broken

i have no reason whatsoever for not uploading my blog...and that is the reason this blog is mine

hey....its raining

i am flying

2008-08-12T17:19:00.000+05:00

he was asked what he was doing. not by one, but by many. and he said...
i am flying
he was. even though his legs was surely intact with the earth, he felt like flying. apparently weightless. he felt detached from everything. he was free. from everything and everyone. when he walks down the street he could feel his legs lift off the earth. he was rushed with emotions. he was alone and no one can stop him. as he walked on, he moved smoothly. he felt like nothing could oppose him. he was at control of his own world. and no one can take that away from him. no one

2008-07-27T15:33:00.001+05:00

one month? it has been one month already? huh, guess its true
Independence Day and yet i don't feel free

.

2008-06-27T01:14:00.001+05:00

i had my chances

maybe i will have more

.

2008-06-20T23:36:00.002+05:00

not so long ago i used to be stupid and ignorant

but now i am just stupid

so
good for me
.
.
.
.
.

ok maybe i am still a bit ignorant

joy of sorrow

2008-06-13T23:42:00.000+05:00

A beautiful girl in a beautiful dress
Like a wonder I must confess
And as she stood there
It didn't look fair

Things went through her mind
I thought but can't find
An answer to a question
I am sure she is in confusion

A beautiful smile, a beautiful face
In this forsaken place
And as she stood alone
Her radiance shown

Things went through her heart
In all the little and big parts
Like the joy of sorrow
Eyes still so hollow

A beautiful wind, a beautiful breeze
Gets cold and starts to freeze
A storm of white fleet
And she longs for heat

Things went through my mind
Am I her real kind?
Is all this enough
Could I make her laugh

A beautiful moon and a beautiful sky
And yet she does cry
Tears rolled down
Could the answer be found

Things went through my heart
Is this really my part?
Where I come in
And start falling

Is She

2008-06-04T00:37:00.003+05:00

is she here
right behind me
is she somewhere
i dont see

is she here
right beside me
am i there
in her heart

i do fear
she being elsewhere
nor here or there
but still everywhere

tear by tear
one by one
roll down here
does she care

does she hear
my sweet dear
i do fear
she might never

is she ever
close and near
no oh never
i cant bear

i do fear
i cant bear
tear by tear

DIFFERENT

2008-05-28T20:15:00.002+05:00

Don't Mock Me

I don't get what people see
When they look at me
I don't understand what they feel
Its not like I wear high heels

Oh and you know the irony?
They say looks don't matter
Yeah
Looks don't matter

Just cause I'm different
Doesn't mean I'm a freak
And even if they mock me
My eyes aren't gonna leak

And you know what?
They say looks don't matter
Yeah
Looks don't matter

Not like I give a damn
I even could care less
But people like them
Make me sick inside

You understand why?
They say looks don't matter
Yeah
Looks don't matter

I know
Looks don't matter

A new beginning

2008-05-19T23:56:00.005+05:00

Find me a place
And a whole new face
I wanna start over
A new story

Or should I?
Stand here mesmerized by
Where my life takes me
Should I?

Oh those days
Where we played
Running around having fun
Oh! those lovely days

How could I?
Stand here astonished by
Where this is going
How could I?

Find me a name
And give me no fame
I wanna start over
A silent story

Night

2008-05-09T00:03:00.003+05:00

It's the middle of the night

The roof is hiding my view

But yet I know

The moon is shining so bright

Old yet so new

A luminous show

The stars giving out light

Little and few

A glowing flow

Happiness is...

2008-04-22T19:23:00.003+05:00

the fan incident

2008-04-08T10:19:00.003+05:00

ever had a fan fell on your head
i did
last night
i think i have fanphobia or whatever it is called
i still have a bit of a headache
no internal injuries
a piece of advice
never stand beneath a fan, ever

deceit

2008-03-27T22:19:00.000+05:00

Conceal and deceive
Hide and trick
Full of lies
A lot of false
Cheat and lie
Betray and con
Full of secrets
A lot of confusion

To call home

2008-03-25T01:16:00.004+05:00

A place full of surprises
A place full of secrets
A place yet never lies

A place for me
A place within me
A place that never leaves

A place of pleasure
A place of sorrow
A place to call home

An act of disappearing

2008-03-19T00:13:00.001+05:00

A smile to make mortals crazy
Hair like the darkest nights
A radiance of a full moon
Eyes like wonders of heaven

Never would i see
Never i thought i wouldn't

An act of disappearing
Shredding my life apart
Leaving me alone
With nothing but memories

Never did i saw
Never i thought you would

Judging

2008-03-16T23:45:00.004+05:00

don't judge people by their looks
don't judge people by what they say
don't judge people by what they do
better yet
Don't judge people at all

she disappeared.......

2008-03-15T17:54:00.002+05:00

........ just like that!!!???....

secrets

2008-03-13T00:20:00.002+05:00

everyone has something to hide

LIFE

2008-03-10T22:03:00.000+05:00

Trust Nothing
Doubt Everything

small..

2008-03-07T00:01:00.003+05:00

feelin a lil small these days

2008-03-06T00:16:00.001+05:00

Counting......
1
2
3
4
5....

life will get better one day. everything will be fine. everything will be the way it should be.

the way it should be? this is life. this is the way it is. its depressing. it wont change. never.

everything will be alright. it will turn out just the way you want it.

the way you want it? this is life. it is never the way you want it. its painful. forever.

believe me. life is never unfair. it will turn just fine in the end. because its the way it is.

the way it is? this is life. believe me its never that way. its miserable. for eternity.

Nobody is Perfect

2008-03-03T23:07:00.000+05:00

its a long way......to home

2008-03-02T23:40:00.000+05:00

what if...

2008-03-02T08:59:00.000+05:00

...you were an ant?

amazing incredible surprising

2008-03-01T21:57:00.000+05:00

its amazing what you can see when you close your eyes
its incredible what you can hear when you don't listen
its surprising what you can say when you don't say a word

so
close your eyes, stop listening and don't say a word

imagine

2008-02-26T01:29:00.001+05:00

wherever you go i am with you
you take me away you are all alone

i am there when you are lonely
i am there when you are not
i am there when you are happy
even when you are in sorrow

i am the answer to all your questions
you take me away you are clueless

i am in your imagination
i am in reality with you
i am in your sweet dreams
even there to save you in nightmares

i am the solution for all your problems
you take me away you are in trouble

i am with you forever
i am with you for eternity
i am with you i vow
even if it means nothing to you

i am with you wherever you go
without me you will be all alone

just for you

2008-02-19T00:22:00.001+05:00

the sun and the moon
looks upon you
day and night
all life long

the trees dance
the birds sings
the flowers blooms
all day long

the seas sways
the mountains roars
the skies smiles
all night long

my heart beats
my eyes cries
my soul flies
just for you

GhOSt

2008-02-17T23:47:00.000+05:00

a ghost within us
disappears within seconds
seen and unseen
to my eyes she is seen

she looks, she smiles
she disappears within miles
she hides, she walks
she even talks
she is seen she is unseen
she isn't here yet seen

she lies, she flies
she glides across the skies
she weeps, she cries
she even looks wise
seen yet unseen
she is here, yet unseen

you and me

2008-02-12T00:14:00.000+05:00

we both met each other
searching for the comfort of another
your eyes full of tears
my heart full of fears
we told each other our stories
filling each moment with memories
we tried to shed our path with light
promising not to tell white lies

butterflies

2008-02-06T23:23:00.000+05:00

They are still here.I don't know why. But. They are here. Hiding within me. No one else see them. No one else understand. Nor do I. Feel like I don't care. But maybe I do. I do care. They are driving me crazy. When are they Going to leave me alone. When am I going to get some privacy. I feel alone. I feel isolated. Like everyone have left me. With all these little insects. I sometimes find myself spaced out. Thinking. About a lot of things. Waiting. Wanting. For something. Anything. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing at all. How long is this going to last. I really don't know.

My self, My heart, my soul
Breaks to pieces within seconds

butterflies

2008-01-31T00:22:00.000+05:00

They are here. I don't see them. But I know. They are here. I feel them. Sense them. They are everywhere. Happier than ever. Flying around me. Fluttering their pathetic little wings. I hate them. They make me insecure. They are driving me crazy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Nothing seems to matter anymore. I feel stupid. I feel tired. Like I am going to fall on my knees. Sometimes i realize that i am breathing too fast. I find myself waiting for something to happen. Wanting for something to happen. Anything. Nothing seems to matter anymore.

A look. A smile. A nod.
Or even the slightest move.

a walk

2008-01-26T23:48:00.000+05:00

I was taking a walk through the park. I looked around as I remember my childhood. I remember that I used to be a kid. Just like the ones who was running around the park. I could remember when my mother used to bring me here. I remember running around with other kids of my own age. But none of them was really my friend.
I knew that none of the other kids like me, but nevertheless they let me play with them. I think maybe it's because their mothers were there. In fact I was sure of it.
I don't really understand why they hate me so much. Maybe they thought I was weird.I didn't fit in with any of them.
I have to admit that not all of the kids hate me. Some even tried to be nice. To be friends with me, but I don't seems to give them an opportunity to bond with me. Every time they try I seems to push them away. For reasons I don't understand but I don't seems to regret these crazy things I do.
Some even got close enough to me and got hurt. More than in one way, but I don't regret it either.
I seems to live in a world of my own where no one would even have a clue about the concepts of what going on.
I seems to dream a lot. Dreams which gave me hope for the life ahead.
I see myself as someone simple. Someone who would lead a simple life. And someone who likes who he is. I see everyone else as strangers. Maybe this is because they don't even know who I am. I mean they don't understand. Then again I don't seems to let them.
Maybe taking this walk was a bad idea. It's too emotional. Maybe I should head back home. The only place where I really don't feel safe.

Life

2008-01-23T23:48:00.000+05:00

"Life shouldn't be about getting noticed"

Kyle, Kyle XY

a chance and hope

2008-01-20T20:31:00.000+05:00

night's deceiving darkness
day's concealing brightness
making me insane
for i not know what is true

fire blazing the eyes
rage burning in the heart
anger building within
everything is but a lie

i am headed a dark path
it is but my drive way
i headed towards hope
not knowing where to find it

a lesson learned......finally

2008-01-09T20:09:00.000+05:00

well guys i am really proud to say this that i have learned a lesson very recently. During the last few weeks i have learned...er......well thats not true. During the last few days i have learned a great lesson.
i finally accept it
LIFE SUCKS

tIme

2008-01-09T19:27:00.000+05:00

mOments i will never forget
mOments i will never remember
dAys when i feel pleasure
dAys that i feel sorrow
mOnths that i feel free
mOnths when i am trapped
yEars that tends to flies
yEars that goes too slow

i m back again

2008-01-06T23:34:00.000+05:00

sorry to disappoint you guys, but i m back.....again
Happy new year by the way
had fun during the eid holidays
miss everyone who is not here

my head aches
aaaaaaaaahhh

i m back

2007-12-10T07:01:00.000+05:00

i m back in male'....but still there is nothing to post about
the trip to Sri Lanka was fine if you guys want to know, but nothing much to tell about....
so see you around

No Goodbyes.....yet

2007-11-25T00:40:00.000+05:00

Five days later i will be out of this country....well that's what they are saying anyway
and i don't know how i am going to survive without my TV shows
i guess i have to live on water and food for a few days then.....and the worst part is i have to wait for a few weeks for the season finale of HEROES
why? why does it has to be the season finale?
anyway this maybe the last post before my trip...or not
so long guys
see you in a another life

er...huh...!!?..

2007-11-06T01:20:00.000+05:00

so i haven't blogged for some time.........who cares?

anyway the test are over and i am not sure i will pass in any subject.....

maybe i have been watching too many television shows

Tiny Drops Of Water

2007-10-25T23:33:00.001+05:00

Tiny drops of water
Hitting my face
Washing all the guilt
And refreshing my mind
I shout at the top of my voice
Letting all the anger go away
I stand here alone
Yet I don't feel lonely
I get soaked through
And yet I don't feel wet
The wind blows on my face
And the rain keeps me company
The trees dance with the wind
While I try to keep up with them

something is wrong

2007-10-21T20:10:00.000+05:00

i don't understand

IMAGINATION

2007-10-15T23:02:00.000+05:00

Guess it doesn't have any limitations, huh?

Simple perfection vs perfect simplicity

2007-10-03T11:23:00.000+05:00

which side are you on?

Insanely simple??!!

2007-10-02T22:24:00.000+05:00

is life really that complicated or is it too simple for us to understand?

time flies

2007-09-24T16:25:00.001+05:00

one more year gone by...

i am feeling stupid

2007-09-24T02:19:00.000+05:00

too much to say
too little time

thoughts

2007-09-06T23:41:00.000+05:00

I stand beside the road. Looking at everyone whose is passing by. Greeting them all with a smile.
I stand beneath a tree. Looking at everyone whose is moving on. Who dare to take the risks. People who believe in themselves.
But I believe that it's not about taking risks. I believe that it's about the risks you take. But I don't seems to be able to live up to my own beliefs. It's like I am too scared to move on. To see what else life has to offer. But I seems to have convinced myself that life could get worse than this. If it's only those little things that really matters, than I would be a positive thinker. But when it comes to the big picture I become pessimistic.
I try to close my eyes and move on. It distracts my own mind from thinking about the unknowns of the future. But it only works for few moments. When I am back on the road I make myself stop. Escape the life's offers and challenges. Putting down life's own dares.
Some of them stop beside be. They talk to me. They tell me the goods and bads of their lives. They tell me their own story and problems. And when the time comes they start moving. I sometimes feel like that I am here to help others. To be a great listener. But I have come to known, from what little life had given me, that listening is too good. It makes you go insane. It may even make you feel saner. But in either case it's never enough. You got to talk. Speak. Tell others about yourself. Let them through into the big circle you made around yourself. Let them touch your heart and make a difference in your life.
This is not the end. I will try until I can make myself believe that I am big asshole.

you'll be in my heart

2007-08-31T01:50:00.000+05:00

Come stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here don't you cry

For one so small,you seem so strong
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm
This bond between us cant be broken
I will be here don't you cry

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

Why cant they understand the way we feel
They just don't trust what they cant explain
I know we're different but deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them, cause what do they know
We need each other, to have and to hold
They'll see in time, I know

When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you gotta hold on
They'll see in time, I know

We'll show them together cuz...

You'll be in my heart
I believe, you'll be in my heart
Ill be there from this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
You'll be here in my heart always
No matter what they say

IT WON"T LEAVE

2007-08-31T00:49:00.000+05:00

wanting to shout out
making it so loud
making the words right
with all my might
I try to fight
all through the night
giving into fears
leaving my eyes in tears
I try to hear
with my half deaf ear
the sound of beating
the sound of breathing
but it won't leave
the feeling I feel

2007-08-29T05:22:00.000+05:00

i  feel  anger  building  up  inside  me.  i  cant  let  it  out.  i  feel  frustrated  that  i  can  control  it.  frustrated  that  i  can  pretend.  that  i  can  make  people  believe  in  my  lies.  lies  i  think  that  i  make  to  protect  my  own  secrets.  i  feel  angry  all  the  time.  angry  at  nothing  at  all.  wrath  is  killing  me  from  inside.  its  eating  me  away. i   am  not  sure  who  i  am  anymore.   why  am  i  angry  all   the time? why  can’t  i  just  forget   the past  and  move  on?  why  do  i  hide  my  own  personality?  why  can’t  i  let  others  see  me for  who  i  really  am?  why  can’t  i   tell  them  that  i  really  care?

BAD reflection

2007-08-24T02:00:00.000+05:00

I don’t remember
How I came to be here
I don’t know why I lost my memory
Maybe it's a long story

I looked around the room
And the flower which was about to bloom
Even the light which came from nowhere
Whatever the source was, I didn't care

I tried to keep an open mind
Thinking about what I would find
Then I noticed the mirrors
Which was kept neatly in rows

I tried to get up to my feet
Wanting to ignore the heat
The mirrors reflected the whole place
Then I saw my own face

My own reflection smiled at me
And showed me a small key
I knew it was to open the door
And my reflection dropped it to the floor

I heard my heart's beat
When I looked down at my own feet
But it wasn't there
I looked up in fear

He smiled at me again
I screamed, cause I was in too much pain
But when he laughed, there was guilt in the voice
Like he had no other choice

Then he leaves
With the sound of the leaves
And then everything was gone
Leaving me here all alone

2007-08-16T01:01:00.000+05:00

I can't do this
Whatever it is
I can't pretend anymore
Lies, whatever I saw
I can't see myself anywhere
Not even in anyone's care
I can't hear myself anymore
Not that the voice is too low
I can't feel anything
Or even let myself think
I couldn't find anyway
Think whatever you may
But my life made me weep
When all I wanted was a leap
Something that will keep
Me away from this heap
Don't let it make me cry anymore
Is all that I hope for
I had many dreams
Whatever it means
It left me here
With all this fear
I have been alone
After all had gone
All those years
With all those tears
I remember all
Everyday sitting next to the wall
All this time
I had a life which was mine
But it was too eventful
Which made it more stressful
I try to think that it will be alright
Standing in the tunnel, trying to see the light
I try to fight
With all my might
I try to find a way out
Even by shouting out loud
I even tried to ignore it all
But I know, my life will never be whole
I drew a few lines
And crossed them a hundred times
I knew I had limitations
But never let it stop my imaginations
Hoping that it would stop all the pain
But every time I come back to reality again

innocent....yet guilty

2007-07-31T22:27:00.000+05:00

I am innocent to everyone
But I do tell lies
I do hurt people
And disturb them
But still I am innocent
And maybe I will stay that way

I am guilty to myself
Cause I never feel sorry
I never tell anyone my secrets
But still I have many
Yet no one says I am guilty
Guilty that I give in too easily

toothpicks....

2007-07-26T00:44:00.000+05:00

on the run....

2007-07-20T01:41:00.000+05:00

I looked around the streets. Too many people. Was it good? Was it bad? How many of them think I am familiar? I pulled the cap lower. It may make me look like a hoodlum but I don't care. Maybe I was one.
I turned around to face the blank wall, took my cell out my pocket and dialed. Suddenly someone approached me and handed me a paper. I looked at it. It was a picture of a wanted man. I looked at it and threw it away. It wasn't safer here anymore. I looked around. Made sure no one was looking at me and started walking.
I had to loose my phone. I knew they were tracing all my calls. I know they were waiting for me to do a stupid thing. I had to be smart. Maybe smarter. I thought hard. Then it hit me. It has to be moving.
Then I saw them. Three guys about my age getting out of a car.I walked up to them and asked.
'you on a road trip?' 'yea.' The blond replied.
I turned around and walked away. I didn't stop until I heard a beep from behind. I turned around and saw a women eyeing me suspiciously. Her phone in her hand. She started punching like mad and put the phone to her ear.Just what I wanted.
I started walking a little faster. It was time to start running.

[its been a long time without a post and just wanted to post something........got the idea from a new tv series, 'TRAVELER' i started watching]

the beast within....

2007-07-04T11:21:00.000+05:00

i feel it clawing my chest
trying to break through
breaking my ribs
and crushing my lungs

i feel it's anger
trying to take control
making me scream
at the top of my voice

and when it is tired
its sits in a corner
laughing at my madness
and gaining it's strength

it tries to escape
but i won't give up
it breaks my heart
but i still have hope

i ask him who he is
ask him what the hell he is
he smiles and says
the beast within...

.......

2007-06-29T00:36:00.000+05:00